Aunt Zhao's voice stubbornly squeezed through the crack in the door: "Qiqi, open up! I need to discuss something with you!"
Qiqi suspiciously cracked the door open, poking half her head out: "What is it?"
Aunt Zhao's face bloomed like an old chrysanthemum: "Oh my, what a pretty young lady!"
Qiqi (hair standing on end): "Aunt Zhao, it's not like you're seeing me for the first time—just say what you need to say!"
Aunt Zhao (smiling sweeter than her own mother): "About my niece I mentioned yesterday..."
Qiqi (grimacing): "Aunt Zhao, I already told my cousin—he's really not in the mood for a girlfriend right now... What? You want to set him up on a blind date? No need, right? Look, he just got to the city, no house, no car, no money, no job... What? None of that matters? Seriously? She doesn't mind a guy with nothing? (Your niece isn't that desperate, is she?)... What? You want to find him a job? No, no, no need! If Rong Yi leaves, who's going to keep our neighborhood safe..."
Before she could finish, a cloud of dust kicked up on the main road out of the corner of her eye; then, before Qiqi could react, the courtyard door suddenly crashed open with a bang! She was pitifully knocked aside, watching helplessly as a swarm of gaudily dressed girls surged in—their frantic rush was a true sight of "wild horses unleashed" and "lightning speed"! If they were sent to the Olympics, guys like Lewis, Powell, and Liu Xiang would be nothing but clouds...
Luckily, Qiqi dodged fast, or she might have been trampled flat. She got up, dusted herself off, and saw the girls all heading for the same destination—the study.
The study was locked, so they couldn't get in, but the girls weren't giving up easily. They crowded around Rong Yi's window, vying to confess—
"Rong Yi, Rong Yi, I love you, like a mouse loves rice!"
(That's Er Ya from next door, just in junior high—what a bold girl!)
"Rong Yi, please accept my flowers, like green leaves' affection for the earth..."
(That's literary girl Emily from the alley—seriously, green leaves for the earth... you're making the audience cringe to death, okay!)
"Rong Yi, be my male secretary! Easy, no barriers, over ten thousand a month!"
(That's the neighborhood's famous rich single woman, Jin Xiangyu—I say, Chairman Jin, are you sure you're looking for a secretary, not a mistress??)
"Rong Yi, I... I want to sleep with you!"
(Who! Who's so shameless?!)
Qiqi planted her hands on her hips, eyes blazing—damn, it was Aunt Li's parrot! Was that parrot even female? She'd have to have a word with Uncle Li next time—like father, like son, your wife's parrot is turning into a hooligan...
...
All the female creatures from eight to eighty gathered at Rong Yi's window, the scene so heated and emotions so intense that bystander Gu Qiqi nearly fainted!
Qiqi clutched her chest and stomped her feet—can't handle it! Can't handle it! I strongly declare my little heart can't take this!!
So, one morning a week later, before those love-struck women got up, Classmate Gu Qiqi hastily eloped with the Wolf King—where to? School, of course! Damn it, she'd already missed a whole week of school dealing with his admirers!